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 Couples Massage: A Touching Experience
by Angela Howe
Even the warmest relationships can use a little rekindling from time to time, not to mention a release from built-up tension. Massage is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect, reignite the flames of passion, and relieve stress.
Couples massage is when two people, usually loving partners, take turns massaging each other. This can help couples express affection for each other or enliven a stale relationship. A couples massage is relaxing and fun — and there are no rules. For example, some couples prefer to talk during a session, while others do not.
Massage Benefits the Mind and Body
Humans need touch, and massage provides both mental and physical benefits.
"If everyone had a massage at least once a week, the world would be a better place," says Kera Copelyn, a certified massage therapist at the Opti-Health Foundation in Palo Alto, Calif. "Deliberate, gentle skin contact leads to a warm, connected feeling for both partners. It forces the massage-giver to focus exclusively on his or her partner, paying close attention to verbal and non-verbal cues."
Massage also can dramatically increase blood circulation in an area, bringing more oxygen to cells to help alleviate pain and tension. Significant blood-pressure reductions have been observed following a massage.
So, in addition to feeling good, a couples massage can:
- Enhance communication
- Release tension
- Develop trust
- Build intimacy
- Prevent boredom
Learn From an Expert
Copelyn recommends couples take a class with a massage therapist to learn basic massage strokes. Such workshops typically include one or two days of instruction. Prices can range from $120 per couple to more than $300 per couple, depending on the length and degree of instruction. During the workshop, couples usually wear loose clothing. At home, clothing is optional.
For new massage-givers, the length of a single session should not exceed 30 minutes, to avoid tiring one's hands. Although massage does require some strength and concentration, couples massage should not be considered work.
"Instead," says Copelyn, "it should be viewed as fun, something a couple can do that bonds them and strengthens their relationship."
If you haven't had a chance to attend a workshop, books such as Gordon Inkeles' The New Sensual Massage or the Esalen Institute's "Esalen Massage" video can get you started. Here are a few tips:
- Choose a warm, quiet place — make sure pets and children are out of the way
- Use a moderately firm padded surface such as an exercise mat or a sleeping bag
- Allow yourself room to move around your partner and have easy access to tools such as massage oil or a towel
- Keep your hands in continuous contact with your partner's body
- Go easy — if your partner says it hurts, stop
- Stay with a comfortable rhythm — don't hurry, poke, or hesitate
- Relax and have fun — enjoy this special time together
JoAnn Gaasland, in Fresno, Calif., has participated in couples massage workshops with her fiancé.
"Massage made us both aware of how vital touch is to open communication. We find that during massage, we say less, but in a way, we communicate so much more," JoAnn says.
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